SINKING SHIP

 SO AT THE END OF FEBRUARY I WENT TO LOOK AT SOME HOUSES. THERE IS OR WAS THIS  1 HOUSE THAT ME AND MY MOTHER WENT TO SEE THAT DAY.  THE DAY SEEMED GLOOMY FOR SOME REASON YET  WE STILL WENT TO SEE IT.  I GOT OUT OF THE CAR. mY MOM PUSHED ME TO THE 2 STEPS TURNED ME AROUND TO BACK ME UP THE STEPS.I GUESSED SHE  DIDN'T  SEE  THE  LAST STEP. SHE FELL BACK AND BROKE HER ARM. I HEARD THE  CRACK AS SHE FELL. IN MY MIND, I'M THINKING SHE JUST HIT A CAN BECAUSE, IT WAS DARK AND WINDY. THE HOUSE WAS JUST BEING BUILT SO IT WAS CONCRETE AND WALLS. I'M PANICKING , SHE'S IN PAIN YET,SHE'S TRYING TO HOLD IT TOGETHER....            I BLAME MYSELF EVERYDAY FOR THAT.  IF I HADN'T WENT TO SEE THE HOUSE. THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPEN. 

MOM KEEP TELLING ME THAT IT WASN'T MY FAULT. THE CRAZY THING IS THAT EVEN AFTER ALL OF THATSHE STILL GOT UP AND ROLLED ME THROUGH THE HOUSE.  WHAT AMAZING WOMAN IS THAT, IN THE MIDST OF HER PAIN. SHE STILL THOUGHT ABOUT ME. SHE'S DOING BETTER NOW. SHE'S  IN PHYSICAL THERAPY

MY MOTHER IS MY SHIP AND THAT DAY. I SAW MY SHIP FALL AND I FELT  HELPLESS AND VULNABLE. I TRULY DISLIKE BEING IN A WHEELCHAIR, I KNOW JESUS DESIGN MY LIFE AS HE SAW FIT YET, I WONDER WHY HE LET IT HAPPENED. ITS NOT RIGHT TO QUESTION GOD..  IT'S HARD  BUT JOB SAID THOUGH HE SLAY ME,I STILL TRUST HIM..  I GOT TO TRUST HIM. HE'S ALL I KNOW.  IT HURTS    LIKE CRAZY KNOWING THAT HAPPENED TO HER                   

SEE GOD THROOUGH ME

 MAN, I'M JUST    A NOBODY THAT'S ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO CHRIST. I WAS THINKING ABOUT   HOW TO TELL PEOPLE        ABOUT JESUS WITHOUT BEING EMOTIONAL. I WASN'T  SUPPOSE TO BE HERE. AT 2WEEKS  I       STOPPEED BEING BUT GOD  SAID NO.  YOU    HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT.  I NEED YOU TO   DEMONSTRATE JESUS IN YOU.I HAVE A  DISABILITY    BUT JESUS  HASN'T LET   ME DOWN YET.    I  CAN   DO ALL THINGS THROUGHH  JESUS. I CAN'T GIVE UP     EVEN IF I WANTED TO. I HAVE  DOWN DAYS, I HURT. I       LOOK    AT GOD  AND  KEEP GOING.   WHEELCHAIR DOESN'T MAKE ME A  MAN.    GOD  DOES. I CANT  GIVE  UP ON HIM.MY MOM WAS   A ARMY  SOLDIER,MY POPS  WAS A  ARMY BOXER. I CAN'T QUIT

YOU  HAVE TO HHOLD  ON TO SOMETHING REAL IN  ORDER TO   SURVIVE  THIS LIFE.  JESUS  LOVES YOU                                                                                        

TRYING TO FIND YOUR MANHOOD OR WOMANHOOD WHILE DEALING WITTH YOUR DISABIILITY

 THIS TOPIC IS NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART SO IF I START CUSSING JUST KNOW I'M RELEASING PIN UP EMOTIONS. 

OK, WHERE DO I START?     I HAD A GOOD CHILDHOOD. i HAVE AN AMAZING FAMILY THATS SUPPORTS ME TO BE INDEPENDENT AS POSSIBLE AND I FUCKING  LOVE THAT, I WOULDN'T HAVE IT NO OTHER WAY. I FEEL LIKE IF I SAY THAT MY DAD WASN'T THERE PLAYED A PART IN MY DECISION MAKING WOULD BE AN DAM EXCUSE AND MAKE ME  LOOK CORWARDLY AND WEAK. I'M NEITHER OF THOSE FUCKING THINGS. i HAVE A PROBLEM WITH BEING SELFISH AND LOOKING OUT FOR SELF.  WHEN YOU FUCKING HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BEING DEPENDENT ON OTHER  PEOPLE WHO GIVES  2 SHITS ABOUT YOUR DECISIONS. IT DOWNGRADES YOUR CONFIDENTS. YOU BEGIN TO MIMIC YOUR FAVORITE ACTOR OR ACTRESS HOPING THAT IT WILL HELP YOU OVERCOME WITH  THE EFFECTS OF DECISIONS. SOME INDIVIDUALS  IN WHEELCHAIRS CAN GIVES 2 FLYING FUCKS ON WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY. YOU WOULD MAKE THE SAME DAM DECISION THAT WILL OR WOULD EFFECT YOUR LIFE!

A PERSON WITH DISABILITIES ARE NAVIGATING THROUGH LIFE DIFFERENTLY. NOT CAUSE WE WANT TO BUT BECAUSE WE HAVE TO. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WERE IN A NURSING HOME AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE NOT ONE SOUL COME SEE YOU,CALL YOU?    ITS  A COLD WORLD FOR ABLE BODIED PEOPLE AND EVEN COLDER FOR THE ONES THAT CAN'T DEFEND FOR THEIRSELVES BUT WE GET TOSSED TO THE WASTE SIDE LIIKE JESUS DIDN'T  CREATE US TOO.. WE HAVE A CALLLING TOO. WE WANT TO FEEL IMPORTANT TOO. NO MATTER WHAT DISABILITY YOU HAVE IN LIFE. LET THEM BE HUMAN. LET THEM FEEEL EMOTIONS. LET THEM BE A SERVANT TO GOD. IF WE DON'T KNOW OUR CALLING IN LIFE, HOW CAN WE GROW?  MANHOOD OR WOMANHOOD IS A FORM OF GROWTH. I DON'T CARE WHAT PACKAGE IT COMES IN. WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS, WE HAVE RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE, BUT BECAUSE WE CAN'T SPEAK UP, WE GET PATTED ON THE HEAD AND TOLD SHHHH.  SOME  MEN AND WOMEN DON'T KNOW TO SPEAK UP DUE TO THEIR MENTAL STATE OTHHERS DON'T DUE TO BACKLASH. I GUESS AT THE END OF THE DAY, ITS ALL UP TO THAT INDIVDUAL MENTAL STATE AND COMFORTABILITY. IT WORRYS ME BECAUSE, I WANT TO SEE US WIN. I MEAN US  AS: CEREBRAL PALSY, AUTISM, SPINAL BIFIDA AND SO FORTH. WE ALL HAVE GIFTS JUST WAITING TO BE EXPLORED 

THIS IS WHEEEL LIFE!   

Decisions that effects us in our Life!

Love that fact that God  gave me a mind. To think and to make sound decisions. I have to look at every decision carefully. I try to look at it from all angles, i don't make the right choices due to me trying to please everybody else. I'm human first then, I'm a Man then, i'm a Person with a Disability. I wish i had a care free attitude. I have to depend on others to take care of me is not wassup!  lol i mean i'm grateful by all means but the way it makes you feel inside is like raw emotions. How to handle Individuals? Do you take them at face value? Do you watch them when they are working for you? or with you?Its  like the Decisions are magnfied with us because we are  Disabled. I understand that some people just don't care. Other people do care. Its up to you to decide in your heart if that person is right for you.Whether, its you Friends, Spouse or whatever.The decisions to whatever you choose effects everybody thats making it. The crazy part is that we have to choose whats best for us! Decisions give us power to dictate our lives good or bad.   Disability sometimes hinders  a person from making choices in their world.We  are all  human, we all have ideas about our lives    even if we can't speak.We can feel and our feelings are much stronger than others. God wouldn't let us just be  Disabled  without  heightening other ablities within us. I can't do anything without Jesus help! 

Being Disabled has taught me alot.as well as  being a Man  with a  Physical Disability. I've grew up with friends with Disabilities way worse  than me that's doing awesome. It's encouraging to see it. The saying is God gives the strongest battles to the toughest people. I truly believe that is true. You just need a Plan B, C and so forth as  well as to have a different way of thinking. A person with Disabilities can't see life the same way as a person that's standing up. It might take  a person with Cerebral Palsy an hour to get dress opposed to a person without a disability. It's doesn't  mean we are slow in things. It's just means that we've adapted a new ways of doing daily routines.  Decisions affects us differently.
             

IS DISABILITY A BAD WORD?

 Hmmm?  Is it a bad word? It depends on the individual. First, You have to realize that we are Human Beings. As Human Beings, we have feelings. People just assume that just because, we can't talk or walk. We can't communicate or comprehend anything. It might be hard to express those feelings to other people.  In my opinion, Disable is what we is and not who we are.

I had to overcome some obstacles as a Child. I was self-conscious about things concerning myself. I wanted to be a lawyer growing up. I was in Mock Trials and everything. Yet, I convinced myself that i wasn't good enough to be a lawyer. I regretted that decision till this day. However, I obtained two Degrees. One is in Business Administration and the other is in Human Services. You can't let one word deter you from pursuing what God has for you!   Disability is what you make it.  You can let it interrupt your joy or you can build   Life Ramps to maneuver through Life. We are here for a reason. 

Disability is a hurdle yet; it is not impossible. It ultimately depends on you as well as your Family Support that you have and your outlook on Life.    I wrote a Book titled "My Wheelchair and the World: Through Life's Obstacles, I Arise".  It's on Amazon. I want you to be encouraged as you read it.  In Life, We  all have something that we think needs fixing. The question is how bad do you want to fix it? How can you fix it?

Man vs Disability: Being Confident!

 I'm speaking for myself when I say I don't know if i would have made it through Life without Cerebral Palsy! The reason why i say that is because, it motivates me to keep going in Life. Sure, I'm scared of the fables of  people taking advantage of me, not being able to do things with my kids and Wife (when God Permits  me to have one). These are the things that  think about on a daily basis. I want my Wife to be proud of me. I want my kids  to look at me and know Daddy will exhaust all possibilities to provide for them.   Being a black man is already difficult but  being a Black man that has a Disability is another level.  Society has place barriers on us: mentally, physically as well as emotionally.  Mentally, we are insecure due to the World's standards.   Physically, we have insecurities. In our minds, we are thinking how will a Husbands or Wife will want me as a Life Partner. 

Being  Confident with any Disability is not easy. It is attainable through Jesus, Friends and Family. A person has to train his self or her self to find their positives. You can't worry about your weaknesses, until your  strengths can hold  their own. Then, you can go back and fix your weakness.Whether, it is your looks, your  confident, or whatever it is.  It can be fix if you are willing to put in the work. It is not the end of the  World. I'm living proof that you can live a  good life with a Disability.   The Doctor counted me out from 1 years old. The Doctors said that  i wouldn't finish school nor be able to talk. I've received myAssociate degree in Business Admin as well as my Bachelor's in Human Services.  

I'm encouraging you to be yourself because you can help someone else. We have to invest in people.  I'm investing in people with Disabilities because, we need a voice. I'm only one man with a purpose. I don't expect people to except me with open arms but  please except my blogs and gain knowledge from it. A man is a man with or without a Disability. It's up to you to figure out the foundation of him!!!                                    

Adaptive Relationship: How to Tell if Someone You Love Them?

 Intimacy, passion, and devotion are all hallmarks of love, as are a set of feelings and actions. It includes care, closeness, defense, fascination, warmth, and trust.

Intensity and change in love can vary over time. It is related with a scope of positive feelings, including joy, energy, life fulfillment, and rapture, however it can likewise bring about gloomy feelings like desire and stress.

With regards to adore, certain individuals would agree that it is quite possibly of the main human inclination. However in spite of being perhaps of the most concentrated on conduct, it is as yet the most un-comprehended. Love, for instance, is most likely influenced by both biology and culture. Researchers debate whether love is a cultural or biological phenomenon. The way we express and experience love is also influenced by our personal conceptions of love, despite the importance of hormones and biology.

How to Love Someone You Care About?

There is no single method for rehearsing love. Each relationship is remarkable, and every individual brings their own set of experiences and needs. A things that you can do to show love to individuals you care about include:

Prepare to be vulnerable.

Be open to forgiveness.

Be willing to apologise when you make mistakes and try your best.

Tell them that you give it a second thought.

Keep an ear out for what they have to say.

Focus on investing energy with the other individual.

React to cherishing motions and thoughtful gestures.

Perceive and recognize their great characteristics.

Share things about yourself.

Show fondness.

Make it obligatory.

How Love Affects Mental Health Love, affection, and attachment all have a significant effect on one's well-being and quality of life. Adoring connections have been connected to:

Lower hazard of coronary illness

Diminished hazard of biting the dust after a heart attack

Better wellbeing propensities

Expanded longevity

Lower feelings of anxiety

Less depression

Lower chance of diabetes

How Would You Realize You're Having Affection toward Somebody?

What are a portion of the indications of affection? The feelings of liking and loving another person have been distinguished by researchers.

.As indicated by clinician Zick Rubin, heartfelt love is comprised of three elements:3

Rubin Z. Darlings and Different Outsiders: The Growth of Intimacy in Relationships and Meetings: Exploratory investigations of self-revelation between outsiders at transport stops and in air terminal flight parlors can give signs about the advancement of personal connections. American Researcher. 1974;62(2):182-190.

Attachment: Desiring physical contact and approval as well as a need to be with another person 

Caring: Prioritizing the needs and happiness of the other person over your own 

Sharing confidential contemplations, sentiments, and wants with the other individual.

Interabled Relationships sometimes referred to as "interabled couples" when one partner has a disability while the other does not. The term additionally can demonstrate that individuals have two unique inabilities, or a similar incapacity yet at various stages.  This love is still new because, the world's view on it. The generation of  Today is so consumed by looks and not the heart.                     

Love is the most precious thing that you can give somebody. Why limit it due to not understanding the unknown?